Gunter Grass

Behind the soap company
rested a toad named Gunter Grass

he was a goddamned giant animal
the size of an angry tank

Gunter ruled the city
by suggesting new soap formulas

everybody on the block
smelled like fairy breath

or on his bad days
like horse ass sushi

one maroon day Gunter up and left
leaving us without olfactory direction

we discovered our own sweaty aromas
which smelt strange, like new cars

wandering around whiffing armpits
it became time to find a new totem

weary scouts returned with news:
Gunter was found in the black forest

mounting musk oxen with calm eyes
and smoking web digit-rolled cigarillos

the mayor said to leave him be
by all accounts he must be happy

time moved on without him
but Gunter remained a humid memory

the town built a statue in his image
endowed with the scent of Strawberry Shortcake

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Filed under poetry, published work

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