The Weatherman’s Ill Will

I’ve made friends
I don’t even know.

I have enemies
I know better.


It’s a difficult life
when you’re a weatherman
with a public email account.

And your girl
leaves you for
a better looking guy,

a meteorologist
of higher stature
who sits at a national desk
and looks faintly handsome.


I see him now
encapsulated with
superior technology
and a nice suit.

But he has no humor
and what good is a goddamned
weatherman without humor?

He’ll fizzle out fast
he won’t be able to handle
the thousands of threats
he’s bound to receive.

If he calls for sun
and there isn’t any sun
some people might want to murder him.

The least they can do
is shoot him a quick email
threatening his family.

I know
it’s happened to me many times
and I’m only local.


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